Terms and Conditions

About two years ago a friend of mine had written out her "Terms and Conditions" for dating her. I thought it was a wonderful experiment and decided to try it myself. I recommend it to anyone with a spare few minutes, it is extremely eye opening and a bit of fun too!

Terms and Conditions for dating Carol McCormick

Required

Must enjoy the mountains - this must forbid you from destroying, littering, and any other activities that could harm the atmosphere of said mountain.

Must enjoy water - this should, as well, forbid you from harming anything involving said body of water.

Must adore children, this adoration must prevent you from harming said children without just cause. “Harm” must never include inflicting extreme physical damage, as well harm can not include any destruction of said child’s overall self worth – you are welcome to guilt trip and even scar, you must not however do so in a way that implies they are unforgivable and or without hope.

Must accept and not resent the fact that reproduction can not happen if and when coupling does.

Must adore animals, this adoration should forbid you from harming any animal without tremendous cause.

Must enjoy sitting through a sunset as well as watching the fog lift.

Must enjoy a good book from time to time, discussing said book(s) is a bonus.

Must possess the ability to be both sincere and sarcastic (one without the other is not acceptable).

Must enjoy kissing, cuddling, and most importantly foreplay

Must have a level of appreciation for beer

Must have a level of respect for music of all kinds – this is not to say you have to enjoy all forms

Must have a level of respect for art of all kinds – this is not to say you have to enjoy all forms

Must be of the mind that any sexual activity between two consenting adults is never anything
but glorious

Must be secure enough to know that flirting, is not only healthy expression but an art form.

Must respect privacy and it’s importance

Must have a level of respect for persons whom find work to be of the utmost of importance.

Must be able to enjoy the occasional rant – based in reality or not

Must appreciate the necessity of a good connection at all times, must also be able to handle the panic that follows losing said connection without notice.

Unacceptable


Must not be solely driven by monetary goals.

Must not be offended by the use of profanity.

Must not posses the ability to harm persons and or animals without just cause.

Must not believe that fashion is based in reality

Must not put stock in organized religion

Must not be bothered by people whom do not believe as you do.

Must not use guilt as a tool

Must not use ultimatums to obtain control.


Two years later, and I'd have to say that the above still applies. A co-worker of mine has said on a few occassions that my "requirements" are far too many and no one could ever fit the bill, I tend to disagree. In the same respect, I still sit here single so who knows?! :-)