Suddenly

I have had this poem in a book of my father's; one of his old college literature books from college. In any case I wrote this poem for him, rather about him, when he was sick. In trying to organize my poems I found there are some that aren't anywhere I.E. this one. This is the first draft and goodness knows if the final draft is anywhere but in his shirt pocket in his grave (I tucked it into his shirt at the funeral). His wife was none too pleased but that is a different post! Enough of the rambling, this first draft is stuck in the book, sitting on my desk and I think typing it will make me feel good so without further explanation.....


Suddenly

Suddenly I am less terrified to be your daughter
A little less ashamed of how tangled we became,
those two years after my son.
Grown as a tree might
grafted in some horticultural design.
Suddenly, I know I am yours
as I know he is mine
How innocent we all become
when it's that simple; how horrible
to have found it now. Maybe it's the lighting
in here today, or the unnerving way you all
sound alike on the phone when I call
and your brother(s), son(s) answers.
Perhaps it's your leaving so soon,
so soon after I'm not so terrified to be your daughter.
I am a little shaky, my feet aren't quite my own,
rather like roots in new dirt, fingering around
for a solid grip.
Maybe it is just the lightening in here tonight,
or the air with it's musky feel,
or perhaps it really is you leaving so soon,
so soon after I am not so terrified to be your daughter.

Carol Ann McCormick 01-31-00